November 30, 2012

• Humans are still evolving!

  I thought so!  Humans are still evolving!  What are we turning into????

  Here’s proof we are still evolving:  ”Nearly three-quarters of mutations in genes that code for proteins — the workhorses of the cell — occurred within the past 5,000 to 10,000 years, fairly recently in evolutionary terms, said a national consortium of genomic and genetic experts, including those at Baylor College of Medicine.”

  I thought so!   Here’s some evolutionary trends that I am worried about….

  1) bicycle helmets – these items should be banned, in fact, almost all helmets should be banned, except in case of an imminent impact.  Helmets cause the body to evolve to a softer cranium.  That’s right.  We are getting soft.  The switch that turns on evolution ponders the situation…what do we need hard exterior bone for if we are wearing helmets all the time?  It only makes sense.  Soon…we will NEED to wear helmets, and hard exterior protection all over, and become like crabs, or clams.  Body armor should be banned.  or we will all turn into some sort of alien invader with an evolved exoskeleton!!!

  2) ipads. – The human thumb was not designed to text.  Nope. not.  This whole thumb texting craze is causing our thumbs to flatten out so that we won’t be able to grasp things anymore with force.  Instead of a durable digit able to haul heavy objects and suffer hard bangs, we will be left with a sensitized, elongated, tapping digit that is TOTALLY UNFIT to do any real work.

  These two preliminary considerations affect the brain and the thumb…and the wiring of these critically important organs in the overall nervous system.  The wiring will change.  The creature that got us here will be gone.  Humans will have turned themselves into another species.  Evolution theory does not sustain species change, BUT, engineered by the species through these infernal inventions, I see humans as able to become substantially different creatures.

  Don’t get me wrong…I am not for remaining Neanderthal.  In fact, Jesus may have initiated a species change through the sacrament of the Eucharist, and is in the process of turning we Neanderthal-like modern humans into a more divine race of humanoids.  Nevertheless, what I am ranting about is the RECKLESS way we institute permanent changes that can have very harmful evolutionary effects.

  THEREFORE: what I recommend is a Federal Evolutionary Control Authority Laboratory (F.E.C.A.L.) which will test people over prolonged periods of time using these potentially threatening devices.  I see that Scott Kelly, the astronaut, has volunteered to do just that by remaining in space for a prolonged time to see what changes this will effect in his biology. I wish him luck.  As for me, give me sirloin steak and single malt scotch for dinner, a wife with no birth control, and free TV.  I am old fashioned, and want to stay that way. 

   

   

  • 10:28 am
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