April 25, 2013

• Boobies? or not boobies

  this was on yahoo today from Woman’s Day mag.

  “Breastfeeding bestows many benefits, including immunity defense and disease protection. But until recently, we didn’t know whether breastfeeding influences intelligence, or if breastfed kids tested better because of other factors. A study from McGill University in Montreal has shown a clear causal connection. Looking at 14,000 children, those whose moms participated in a program that encouraged exclusive and prolonged breastfeeding scored 7.5 points higher on verbal IQ tests at age six-and-a-half than those whose mothers didn’t take part. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life.”

  stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, Ladies.

  kinda reminds you what them things are REALLY for, don’t it?  yar!  But taking a closer look at the McGill study reveals it might have another cause…breastfeeding women might just be SMARTER than non-breastfeeding women, and so their children would be GENETICALLY smarter and naturally more verbal than children of women who were never able to figure out what their breasts were intended for.

  Don’t mock. It is not as simple as you think. Breasts hang down, and are not generally in the visual field of the person to whom they belong.  This may be the prime reason that so many women can’t figure out what to do with them properly.

  Something similar occurs in MEN too. Men have an appendage that hangs down out of sight, mostly. It seems THEY don’t know what it’s for either. – It is for placing in a vagina!! You make babies with it, Dildo Head. – Again, assholes are not easily visible, and can likewise be prone to misuse (or “supine” as the case may be), which may be the leading factor behind the terrible confusion so evidently rampant nowadays.

  FEAR NOT! I have a solution: the Body Cam(TM).  It is a camera that attaches to the sleeve, or shoulder of the shirt. The Body Cam(TM) will always be just within your visual field, and will display those parts of your body that are not easily visible, like the back portion, and the lower front.  The Homeland has got you in its sights…Hey, it’s past time you spy on yourself too! Get with the program: Get a Body Cam(TM)!

  That leaves just one portion of the body that will remain undetectable: under the cap, hoodie, or hat. I despair of figuring out how to display that, and am deeply worried that it’s true purpose may NEVER become correctly determined.  But if the Body Cam(TM) sells ….hell, I ain’t gonna care one flat bitcoin.

  • 7:00 am
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